Fader

Today I worked on a few scholarship essays when I woke up. Shouldn't even have attempted to, since I have no appreciation or drive for a finished product. My writing's always half- baked, which is not ok when money is involved. Anyway, the first question was

Imagine that you have just found out that you have 24 hours left to live.
Tell us what you plan to do in your last day on earth. (80 - 120 words)

And in formulating my answer to this question, I got really down .. and really excited. What does that mean? That I fall apart without deadlines? Or, most of us are too busy to notice how miserable we are. I was. What is this, the rich, middle- class kid syndrome? Or is it just another stupid American affliction. I see a scale: People who are poor (-5) only see far enough to realistically aim for 0, but I feel like not many people go beyond that into the positive realm (+). There are too many choices in life, as if choices set us free.

Also today, a misplaced story. My brother Sam and I were going on an evening walk around the neighborhood because it felt so deliciously chill outside, like Seattle or Montana up north. We ambled a bit near the elementary school across the street and came upon this swaggering old man. It looked like his bag, which must've been heavy for him, was swinging him this way and that. The crossing of our paths was inevitable- he proclaimed an atypical version of the fire-and-brimstone speech: "Let me give you some advice. Jesus Christ is returning soon with all the aborted babies. And they are going to KICK ASS! ..blar..blar..nice couple like you .. in hell.. I love you.." My bro was a bit taken aback, but as we brisked past him, I wondered aloud what the guy was doing outside of Austin. Because that's a pretty weird occurrence for a quiet, Dallas suburb.

Girl crush:
NEKO CASE
I'm a fool for missing her in Austin last month!!

P-fork: From Fox Confessor, on a song like "Star Witness", I'm guessing there's a car accident involved but the details are sketchy.

Case: I spent a while on that song. It's about an actual event that occurred in front of me. It wasn't actually a car accident but someone being shot to death. That was a real event that happened in Chicago.

P-fork: What happened?

Case: It was one of those things where there's gang violence and somebody gets shot right in front of you, and you live it and it's horrible. And, of course, it doesn't make the news because the kid is black. Nobody gives a shit except for his family, and you see how much nobody gives a shit and it's fucking heartbreaking. He wasn't even the kid they were looking to shoot. He was just some kid who they mistook for somebody else and they shot him. I saw it happen. I didn't make the song about me either. The song is pieces of different people but the event is in there.

Full interview













Boy crush:
Sufjan Stevens (of course)

P-fork: You say "these songs sound like songs I wrote," as if that's a surprise to you. Are you getting tired of your sound?

Sufjan: Yes. I'm getting tired of my voice. I'm getting tired of...the banjo. I'm getting tired of...the trumpet.

P-fork: Do you think that's because you've been so prolific over the past few years, or are you just getting restless?

Sufjan: I'm writing too much, for sure. I think it's important to get a season of rest, and I'm not so sure I've done that. That's why I'm not touring, I'm only playing one festival this summer. I have the summer off. I need to ride my bike more.

Yeah, me too. But it's in Austin.

Full interview













Listen to this song and think of adjectives, like high- soaring.
*S*t*a*r*s* - Set Yourself On Fire

I don't mean to end on a happy note, despite Suf's playful "last look" and the innocent poppiness of Stars.
And hey, no need to knock my affinity towards practicality. It's not a requirement, but I do find that newly acquired possessions lose their luster much more quickly if they're not really that useful. No company will ever manufacture an article of clothing sublime enough to hold all of my devotion. Everything you own gets old, so it might as well be somewhat practical in the long haul. Alright, I'm out for another lame essay.

No.

Contrary to popular (foolish) belief, love does not exist in a vacuum.

Also.
Pulling a Britney Spears and going out in public with black, dirty feet is vastly unsexy.

Live is imperfect.

Sufjan Stevens - "For the Widows In Ypsilanti.."



Neko Case - "Hold On, Hold On," on Jay Leno

Dead Soldier Pose

So I've been going to yoga at Casa de Luz, a small macrobiotic "campus" which includes a restaurant, rooms, a playground, etc. The first time I ate there I was a bit creeped out by the aliens who like to eat there. As much as I poke fun at it for being new-agey and freakishly healthy.. well, I shouldn't.. too much. It's pretty great. Today was only my 2nd time at yoga (which I had never done before last Friday) and I can see why it's so appealing. Who isn't up for unharnessing his/her inner energy and learning how to breathe properly? And the bamboo-floored room in which it is held exudes such peacefulness and warmth that I would pay rent to live there next year. I know that if I bought into the spiritual part of the exercises, then I would be experiencing yoga in its full effect. However, I don't quite believe in tromping elephants and such and am relegated to channeling imaginary energy and half-smiling at the Warrior Pose, which shouts, "Glory to God!" (A terrible mood had been hanging over me all day, causing me to snap at my kindergarteners, spend too much money at Mr. Natural's, and feel tired about the upcoming holiday.) So understandably, I felt only half better afterwards. What? I'm anxious about life, and nobody can fix that.

And now, after trying on funky sweaters I hadn't worn all year and modeling them for my roommate, I am going to finish packing.

He will take you, if you run, he will chase you, because he is the

He Comes Dividing Men From Brothers

Because my 'b' key was too sensitive (that's why all the typos), I took my laptop into the Apple Store and now the keyboard is getting replaced and I won't get it back til the end of the week. Hmph. I guess I can deal with a pc for a few days.. ; ] I also visited my friend Karen at the United Colors of Benetton at the same mall .. working retail is real work! Fortunately, the girl is good at tending to people and tidying up places, so she doesn't really try to shirk any duties.

Also, today "Illinois" came out (I know, I talk about Sufjan way too much, I'll stop soon enough) but surprise, because of murky artwork legal disputes, the record company Asthmatic Kitty was advised to stop selling it and are frantically asking their retailers to do the same. It as something to do with the Superman on the cover upsetting DC Comics. Darn! I knew I should have pre-ordered what is now considered a collectors item. An hour ago, I ordered it off some cd website, hopefully they haven't gotten the memo and will ship the original edition to me in a few days. They're already being sold on eBay for $75. Ridiculous.

Finally, finally, I got "Ok Computer" for my birthday. It was so good hearing it after maybe two years, I dunno what took me so long! I think I can appreciate it on a different level now, not so much teenage emotion. Do people still think it's the best album of all time? Isn't that a slap in the face to all their influences, or to even older bands that were considered greats?

I am sleeping on a brand new mattress, a Simmons Beautyrest with a pillowtop, ah! Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it really is a nice upgrade compared to my old mattress, with the familiar spot that tended to creak every time I tried to breathe. I used to talk about getting a Tempur-pedic mattress someday, but then I decided that I was joking, since only astronauts use them. No, but really, it really is too much money, you'd rather buy a Powerbook.

Here's something I've been musing over recently. For people who have very strong personal beliefs/opinions/views on current "hot topics," if it is correlates to the modern way of thinking, how much of the thinking is theirs and how much of it has to do with being a product of the age in which we live? I am not trying to judge or anything like that, but here is the best example I could think of: how many people who tolerate/uphold homosexuality now would hold the same views if they lived 50 years ago? Would they do it at the expense of their reputation, family, and business? I think not. If society permeates so much of our thinking, why do we so often embrace it so strongly as our own? I haven't taken Sociology or any classes in the Social Sciences, so I'm probably just stating the obvious..

.. TO BE HOLY!

That's the end of the song. How well do these match up?

The Transfiguration

Luke 9:28-36

²⁸About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. ²⁹As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning. ³⁰Two men, Moses and Elijah, ³¹appeared in glorious splendor, talking with Jesus. They spoke about his departure, which he was about to bring to fulfillment at Jerusalem. ³²Peter and his companions were very sleepy, but when they became fully awake, they saw his glory and the two men standing with him. ³³As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, “Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters–one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” (He did not know what he was saying.)

³⁴While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and enveloped them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. ³⁵A voice came from the cloud, saying, “This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him.” ³⁶When the voice had spoken, they found that Jesus was alone. The disciples kept this to themselves, and told no one at that time what they had seen.

"The Transfiguration" - Sufjan Stevens

When he took the three disciples
to the mountainside to pray,
His countenance was modified, his clothing was aflame.
Two men appeared: Moses and Elijah came;
they were at his side.
The prophecy, the legislation spoke of whenever he would die.

Then there came a word
of what he should accomplish on the day.
Then Peter spoke, to make of them a tabernacle place.
A cloud appeared in glory as an accolade.
They fell on the ground.
A voice arrived, the voice of God,
the face of God, covered in a cloud.

What he said to them,
the voice of God: the most beloved son.
Consider what he says to you, consider what's to come.
The prophecy was put to death,
was put to death, and so will the Son.
And keep your word, disguise the vision till the time has come.

Lost in the cloud, a voice: Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Turn your ear!
Lost in the cloud, a voice: Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Son of God!

The thing about his songs is that you have to hear them in context to fully appreciate them. What else is this the case for? (Ha, I made you read a passage of Scripture. Good for me too!)

--

I've been reviewing my Chinese today. I must know hundreds of characters by now. Relearning my mother tongue helps me appreciate my proficiency in English. It isn't something to be taken lightly, is it? Ask your local throng of immigrants who either assimilate or are left behind. It's a lose-lose situation. To have your own way with words is freeing. We all love to be vague sometimes. Will I ever be a whole Chinese?