Goodbye, Scion

It was a quiet rainy evening on Sunday. Instead of just plopping down on the couch to watch yet another TV show, we went out for a night drive. With no real destination in mind, we meandered around 2222 and 360. We stopped at Mount Bonnell and tromped through a few trails in the dark. Then we got the ever-windy Redbud Trail. On the first curve, B understeered, then oversteered to correct it, then way oversteered and we plowed straight into the Westlake United Methodist Church sign. We were not hurt at all, despite the fact that the airbags both went off. After a lot of waiting in the rain, getting a tow truck to come out, talking to the police, getting a rental the next day and getting ripped off, finding out that we have to tow it to another shop, we found out our poor Scion is totaled. And we've only had it for three months. On top of that, the gap insurance I purchased through the Toyota dealership in town did not carry over after I refinanced the loan. And, the settlement is actually lower than the payout on the car mostly because we paid too much for the car in the first place (due to ignorance and getting swindled by salespeople), so instead of ending up with extra money, our down payment pretty much goes down the drain and we owe an additional amount (the gap) on the loan. Very, very uncool.

We found a Mazda3 hatchback at the local Mazda dealership in our price range, so we're probably going to get it. It's funny, but I've been infatuated with that car for years, ever since it came out. It is much sturdier, faster, heavier, and overall better than the Scion. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay for another rental car today, because our friend Dallas let us borrow his car. It's been a whirlwind these past two days getting the paperwork completed and going back and forth between the auto shop, rental agency, credit union and the dealership. I went back to Flamingo Automotive this morning to get a rental car (only $25/day), but they had none available, so I biked instead. I'm pumped that my water-repellent (vs water-resistant) raincoat is getting put to good use. I was toasty and warm on my bike except for my face and fingers, which were wet and freezing. And then the whole rain on glasses thing is super annoying as well.


Here's to hoping that we'll stop hemorrhaging money soon. But mostly, I am grateful that neither one of us was hurt, and that we have padding money from the wedding to help us get through this. I've been keeping my parents updated, and they said they had to learn the same expensive mistakes. Albeit once for each lesson. Hope we learn too. It's shitty that everyone is out to get your money and if you aren't informed, then they most definitely will.

Not Supertasty

Today was a day for a great realization. We had dinner last night at Shilla, a Korean restaurant, and it was a common meal experience. B ordered a good deal of expensive food and praised each bite, while I, wanting to offset his lavish habits, ordered a small dish and ate to quell my hunger. Specifically, he ordered sushi (smoked salmon, caterpillar roll, spicy tuna) and sundubu jigae, while I got a clear broth soup with pork short ribs and veggies. Afterwards, in our analysis, I looked around the table at our various dishes and the 10 small dishes of banchan and concluded that I was pretty much over Korean food. I had tasted each of the dishes, familiarized myself with their flavors, and found no particular desire to have them again. B, on the other hand, savored and loved his food. He talks about food, its flavors and mouthfeels, when he's eating it. And then he called me a supertaster.

I looked it up this morning, took a few informal short quizzes, and found out that I may be and probably am a supertaster. A supertaster is someone who has more tastebuds than the average person, is put off by strong tastes (like bitter, sugar, fat), prefers "bland" food, and is a picky eater. Part of me was hugely relieved that there is a term to describe people like this. I always thought I was weird and felt ashamed that I could not appreciate a wide variety of foods, since that is somewhat of a prized ability. For example, when people ask me about my preferences, I always offer that I don't really like cheese, except for white cheeses that do not have a strong flavor. Like mozzarella. Or gruyere. I can do pizza or Italian food. As a kid, I remember giving my mother a hard time whenever she tried to get me to eat a grilled cheese sandwich. She probably just wanted me prevent me from developing osteoporosis later on in life, but whenever I was asked to take a cheesy bite, I would gag and be unable to swallow. Pretty soon I made such a ruckus and even cried sometimes that my parents gave up. Same with milk, cream cheese, cheesecake, cream frosting. My brother and I were notorious for scraping the cream clean off our birthday cake slices (and wiping the fork) before even taking a bite. I now wonder why we never considered getting another celebratory dessert after all those years.

This self-label can liberate me from the fear of being abnormal in this category. Now I no longer have to feel guilty when I don't share B's zeal for a dish. Instead of beating myself up for not being receptive to new experiences (I will generally try something even if it looks distasteful), I can just accept that is how I am. I will admit that I used to enjoy eating a lot more, and that dishes I used to love are oddly uninspiring to me now. Like, I never suggest Thai places anymore, because I feel like so many of their dishes are all way too sweet. And I am completely over Mexican/Tex-Mex. Too many years of eating refried beans (hate the texture), forcing down shredded yellow cheese, and stinky flour tortillas. And I have yet to find a good dessert place in town. Usually, to satisfy an inconveniently strong craving, I will go to Quack's in the neighborhood for a quick fix. But their pie fillings are somewhat dry and the crust is eh. I've also tasted too many bad desserts in this town: Whole Foods has a gross, overly sweet dessert section. All their offerings are uninspiring and mediocre, at best. Bountiful Bakery and Sugar Mama's both make sugary bars that I found inedible. The main things going for Tiff's Treats is butter and sugar, neither of which impress me in a cookie. I strongly believe that people should have higher standards for dessert. The only place I have found worthwhile dessert is at Pie Slice (chocolate coffee pie only), and at nicer restaurants in general.

B gave me a look when I recently announced my favorite dish at Mandola's: thin pasta tossed with olive oil, garlic, basil, and fresh tomato. He prefers to go for more flavorful food, such as cured meats, organ meat/offal, strong beers, fish, etc. Tonight we ate at Peche for his belated 25th birthday dinner. It was a three-hour affair. I have to admit that I felt very much out of place there, since everyone was very much moaning from delight over their fine food and mixed drinks, and I thought everything was either OK or not for me. Can't remember the last time I thought a meal was awesome. I really yearn for that sort of culinary enjoyment, but unless some taste buds get killed off or my brain changes, it's not gonna happen. It stinks.

I think I can

Post Linked-In browsing session. Made me feel like shit. I know it's bad to compare, but too late. What can I say? Business and technology titles and jargon that I don't understand greatly intimidate and impress me against my will. Besides the wildly successful connections in my age group, even the artists have hearty profiles with a good deal of experience. At least they're building on something they love, knowing they will eventually get to their destination. While it frustrates me to no end that I am not building on anything, and I don't know where I want to go.

And then I get anxious that I am doing not what I "should" be doing, whatever that is, and it creates more anxiety and prevents me from doing anything, really. Rotten cycle.

Really good new Animal Collective song (left-click). Everyone should listen to them. Their music is enormous: at first challenging, then ecstatically poppy. See 5:04.

Waiting

Sitting here in the lobby of the Sofia Hotel in San Diego. It's pretty dece. Nora caught some sort of bug today and is not doing too hot, so our fancy dinner plans at Dobson's had to be cancelled. Now I'm waiting to grab some food from the hotel lobby. Apparently the happy hour menu is dine-in only, but I don't really want to rub elbows with two older businessmen in there. Even if it means forgoing housemade sangria.. I trudged through a whole day of Powerpoint presentations. About HR policies and practices. Starting at 8 AM. Just realized that I know very little about my profession. Clearly, they keep me away from all the decision-making. Which is weird that they sent me on this $1200 conference. Shrug.

I have been texting B all day out of pure boredom and loneliness. It feels off not having him around in this new place. Then we could at least laugh at the same things at the same time. Instead, I have to tell him about how I hate groups and hate being forced to network so I attached myself a woman who just came over from Austria, since foreigners are generally less confident and thus nicer, and how I was about to talk to this girl at lunch but then she opened her mouth and sounded just like Sarah Palin, awful northern accent-wise, and how I wore a Gap button-up shirt whose 2nd button (boobs) kept unbuttoning which is why I never wore it anymore but I forgot that, so I was uncomfortable the whole day and nervous about exposing myself.

Alrights, I'm out.

Excellent 4-Day Weekend: Thanksgiving

B and I celebrated a joint Thanksgiving with both of our families this year. After a grueling 4 hour drive with stop and go traffic and multiple pee stops, we arrived in Dallas late Wednesday night. We went to my cousin's house in "Useless" (Euless) Thanksgiving Day and had a lot of super tasty Chinese food, plus a roast turkey. I baked a blueberry crisp the morning of on the fly, since Marie Callendar's refused to hand over a prepaid pie when we tried to pick it up the day before. Inept workers. It was also B's 25th birthday, and my parents bought him a cake and a gift I helped pick out. He wasn't expecting that at all, which I loved. Then we took 121 across town to B's uncle and aunt's house in McKinney. They had been frying turkeys all day and I tried one for the first time. I kept going back for more of that crisp and flavorful skin! The rest of the weekend was uneventful and awesome. B caught up with some of his shows on my dad's big screen HDTV, I reread through some of my college notes for kicks, I learned a song on the harmonica, and ate lots of leftovers. The whole family made a grocery trip together, and although that is generally a boring affair, I was excited to have B along. It is also one of the last few times I'll be able to hang out with my parents for a while, as they have plans to move to China for missions work. We'll see. We went back to Austin on Saturday, after spending the afternoon in downtown McKinney, and had another relaxing day to spend before the workweek started up again. I forced myself to bike in the evening, my first ride in weeks. It was to the Capitol and was moderately difficult because it was windy and lightly raining. I wished my rain jacket had come in already, as my cardigan was not cutting it. It was odd coming home to a super heated house with B sound asleep on the sofa, By Any Means blaring on the telly. Back to inertia.


We spent most of Saturday in downtown McKinney with B's uncle, aunt, and 2 cousins. It boasts a handful of fine restaurants and even a British pub. We went to the local butcher to get some chili bricks to take home. B's uncle boasted that it was made with quality meat cuts, not the crappy stuff. We had already handed over the cash before we found out that the meat wasn't local. Oh wells. We made some yesterday, adding some canned tomatoes and black beans. I didn't take any photos because chili generally looks gross, especially at a low resolution, but it was not bad! Very meaty.

Lazy boy.

Other lazy boy.

B's been making a lot of mulled wine lately. Just simmer a spice packet in cheap wine. He loves that stuff. It is very economical, compared to the craft beers he normally buys.

I'm going to be in San Diego for the next 2 nights and days. HR Generalist conference. Wooh. Hopefully I'll be able to meet up with Nora & Colin tomorrow night. I promised B not to get into too much trouble while I was there, so I won't be roaming the streets at night. I usually like to wander around a city as much as I can when I'm on a work trip by myself. Even if it's suburban awful and doesn't have any sidewalks, like Metairie. I can only take so much cable TV, so we'll see..

Conscious Consumption

B and I watched the documentary The Corporation last night, and it was long and scary. Basically, corporations have taken over the American economy and are ruining the world. Because they have they masterfully gotten the legal system to consider them "persons," they can get away with bad deeds such as producing too much of an unneeded product, employing advertisements backed by psychological research to get you to buy their products, use child labor, exploit workers by paying stupid low wages, trick the government into OK-ing a product that has been proven harmful, selling the unsafe product, polluting our air and water, taking ownership of natural resources, etc etc. I know I'm not the most eloquent writer, but we've all heard about the irreparable damage done by corporations so large that they have no accountability. Even their "green initiatives" are just a tactic to quell public suspicion, while they carry on with the bottom line: profit. The only two hopes are that capitalists will keep "selling the rope that will hang them" and that the public will act differently against unjust corporations.

Again, as the credits rolled, I found myself wallowing in a pit of guilt. But then B reminded me that feeling guilty does nothing.. it just makes you feel better later after you are done feeling guilty because you felt something. It's true. We then started really examining our lifestyles and started a serious conversation. I was previously really turned off by the green movement, 1- because I didn't feel like it could do any lasting good, and it seemed like the majority of people did not care. And 2- it is so annoyingly trendy- those damn rich middle class yuppies. But if everyone sympathized with point 1 then nothing would ever change. And remove all the trendy baggage and the point is still ever so relevant. What have we, as a couple, done with this burgeoning knowledge?

Food: Thanks to Erin and Andrew, we've made our first married grocery trip to Wheatsville Co-op. I had a membership in college, but the high prices really turned me off, and after that membership expired, I could not bring myself to pay the extra 50 cents to $1 for each item. They've since changed that system, and as a member, you get discounts on certain items. (We are not members.) This trip was spurred by watching Food, Inc., and sleeping in on Saturday two weeks in a row and missing the downtown Farmers Market. We went armed with a purpose- to buy only local produce and meat. I understand that at those health stores, it's the stupendously expensive snacks and drinks that suck your wallet dry. Not a huge problem when you realize that those things aren't really food (meal food), and you should not buy them regularly. To have the comparison of HEB-priced snacks is helpful because it's still fresh enough to cause you enough mental pain to resist paying $5 for a tiny box of crackers.

Analysis: The produce is labeled with state or country of origin. I was disappointed to find that they sold non-organic items, and they also had a pretty small local section. I guess by pretty small I mean that the entire section is not local, woefully. I think a farmers market or planting your garden is the way to go on this one. I found out about a community garden in our neighborhood off 45th and Eilers run by Austin's own Sustainable Food Center. (They're the guys who put on the weekly Farmers Market downtown and at the Triangle.) We're still considering getting a plot- it is $40 a year plus volunteer maintenance. Anyways, back to Wheatsville. The meat section was more impressive. They have a freezer full of a variety of meats from nearby farms, and they are labeled by how far the meat had to travel to get there. We purchased some ground beef, chicken and sausage. The ground beef was something like $8 for half a pound. It sounds insane, but think about it: in what other way are you paying dearly for really cheap meat? Your health. And for those of you who care, the well-being of the animal. It's just not worth it. B was a bit put off bv how little meat we purchased, but after we made burgers, he was more enthusiastic about it. The meat also tasted different to us, as it should. I could not put my finger on it, but it was not bad at all. The burger was pretty great, actually. And I felt good not eating the meat of 1000 corn-fed, antiobiotic-pumped, manure-contaminated cows. In regards to money, we did not spend our entire weekly grocery budget!! Yes, the meat was much, much more expensive. But all we bought was meat, veggies, fruit, yogurt and bread. We're used to "treating" ourselves weekly with real-sugar sodas, chips, bulk section items, anything fun looking that catches the eye. It's good to only buy what we need. I'm happy we have fully weaned ourselves from HEB, and the next grocery I want to check out is even closer, Natural Grocers. I'm proud of B for joining me on this journey, especially since guys can sometimes be "whatever" about food, as long as it tastes good.

Clothing: Still thinking about this one. I'm quite sure the majority of the clothing I own is not sold by socially responsible companies. My new Cheap Monday jeans are made in China. Not good for stimulating the local economy. I get the occasional bargain-priced item from Forever 21. I'm guessing they have egregiously bad labor practices.. why else are the clothes dirt cheap? But girls don't care. And sadly, Urban Outfitters is basically the only place you can get fashion-forward clothing without breaking the bank. But not only are most if not all of their womens' clothes all made in poor Asian countries, they are also not made to last, and they unabashedly steal their looks from high-designers. I've always been very put-off by their shoddy construction, but I begrudgingly keep shopping there for fear of becoming irrelevant, style-wise. I know it's dumb, but it's hard. B and I agree that for now (and this is something he has always done), just wear what we have until we wear it out. This somewhat bleeds into Christmas gift territory, as I like giving my brother clothes as gifts. Instead of the cheap American Apparel cardigan I had been eyeballing from a bulk eBay seller, B and I decided to go with Alternative Apparel (see their Social Responsibility section) instead. Samuel, I hope you are not reading this. I generally like American Apparel because it is plain and made in the US, but I have heard cases of employee mistreatment and yes, sexual harassment.

While it is encouraging to me that one of the current fashion trends is items (hand) made in America, it disheartens me that this is just an impermanent trendy ideal. And that people who wear the same outfits for years and years get their unwanted 15 minutes of crazy bright spotlight, and are never mentioned again.

Regarding the Christmas gift-giving tradition, our extended family has always gotten together and given every kid a gift. I'm still considered a kid. The problems with that are: The economy has gone down and gifts have become cheaper and shoddier to cope. -> Everyone gets the same non-personal gift. I have no issue with my family wanting to spend less on unnecessary gifts. This year, I want to try to encourage our family to toss that tradition and instead, draw names out of a hat and just buy one gift for one person in your extended family. That way, you can put more thought into a gift and that person can get one way cool gift versus ten made-in-China useless ones.

Pets: B brought a good point that if we ourselves are paying attention to what we consume and what companies we support, we should also rethink what we buy for our cats. The Purina stuff we get them is just regular cat food from HEB, and I don't know where the ingredients come from. Clay litter is useful in eliminating odors and clumping, but it is also definitely awful for the environment and for you. Manufacturers employ the method of strip mining to extract clay, thereby destroying acres and acres of land. And the nasty dust in the litter contains a carcinogenic ingredient. We'll probably check out Wheatsville's pet section for alternatives soon.

House: Besides the oft-recommended turning off lights when you're not using them, taking shorter showers, washing clothes in cold water, turning off power strips, and fixing window and door leaks, there is still a lot to be done. Like toilets. 1 flush uses up 1 gallon of clean water. Not only that, we mix our waste with drinking water, which we then have to spend a lot of energy purifying. It's a really inefficient system, especially since our waste could be naturally useful when put in the ground. It's great that some places have installed toilets capable of half-flushes (for when you pee). But I think that toilets in general are not sustainable. It's a quick way to get rid of something gross and never see it again. Think about the hidden consequences. Check out this Boston Ideas article for more on this topic. Still thinking about this one. Can we be sustainable in a house turned green, or do we have to revamp the whole idea of a house? Fortunately for us, people are thinking about this here and there are quite a few "green" houses in town, especially on the Eastside. I'd like to learn more about them.

It's a process for sure. And for the most part, we can only try to do better, not best. And stop buying so much stuff from here on out. We just got a wonderful new couch last weekend from IKEA. The loveseat was not cutting it for us, since we could not both lay down together on it without poking each other in the face or back. It's been great having a larger couch, but IKEA is a large corporation.. This Inhabit post seems to think IKEA has commendable environmentally-friendly practices and rules. It sounds good, but still, the whole idea of a corporation is not sustainable.. Again, solid products that are also awesomely cheap should spur you into doing more research. I know I will be. This is why I'm pleased that we built two of our tables. It was super fun, challenging, and ultimately rewarding. Handmade custom furniture can be very pricey, but it doesn't have to be.

Still working through the whole money thing, as in "how much money should I spend on products that are better for the world?." Why are most products manufactured under socially responsible means so expensive? Are you paying more for the good "green label" feeling? Because right now, I don't see how those alternatives are a true option for most people. Then there's the argument that we should own less in general- there is no need for a closetful of clothes. True. Fashion may be an enormous ruse created by companies to drive purchases, but it's so compelling. For many people, it's an integral part of their identity. I can definitely identify. Anyways, sorry for the gargantuan post. I'll be thinking about this more from now on. Not because I really want to (it's really, really inconvenient!), but because I am compelled to. Some coworkers I talk to about the industrial food issue can sympathize, but throw their hands up and refuse to think about it further because they feel helpless. But I don't think that we are helpless, especially as we are so privileged. Terrible norms have always existed in history, and when people worked to change them, sometimes they succeeded. B and I half-joked about how we weren't going to have kids because people are awful for the world. Still working on a good answer to that one.

Glenn Tipton

Cassius Clay was hated more than Sonny Liston
Some like K.K. Downing more than Glenn Tipton
Some like Jim Nabors, some Bobby Vinton
I like 'em all

I put my feet up on the coffee table
I stay up late watching cable
I like old movies with Clark Gable
Just like my dad does

Just like my dad did when he was home
Staying up late, staying up alone
Just like my dad did when he was thinking
Oh, how fast the years fly

I know an old woman ran a donut shop
She worked late serving cops
Then one morning, babe, her heart stopped
Place ain't the same no more

Place ain't the same no more
Not without my friend, Eleanor
Place ain't the same no more
Man, how things change

I buried my first victim when i was nineteen
Went through her bedroom and the pockets of her jeans
And found her letters that said so many things
That really hurt me bad

I never breathed her name again
But I like to dream about what could have been
I never heard her calls again
But I like to dream