Helplessness Blues

image from even*cleveland (originally from BARC)

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique

Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes

Unique in each way you can see

And now after some thinking I'd say I'd rather be

A functioning cog in some great machinery

Serving something beyond me

But I don't, I don't know what that will be

I'll get back to you someday soon you will see

The brand new single from Fleet Foxes is oh so good. It makes me so eager to hear the album, which, from the looks of it, may be even better than their 2008 release! Hear "Helplessness Blues" here.

Ain't no one gonna turn me 'round

img source

Alex Chilton, lead singer of the original power pop band, Big Star, passed away today. When I was really getting into music, around the end of of junior high and beginning of high school, all I listened to was 90's British trad rock (Travis, Embrace, early Coldplay), 90's American power pop (Weezer Ozma, Phantom Planet) and early indie rock (Death Cab and Barsuk friends). I loved the new, and couldn't understand why anyone thought oldies were "goodies." Then I fell upon Big Star, and they opened up the entire pre-90's soundscape for me. I still think some of their tunes belong to the catchiest songs ever written group. Their tender teenage love song "Thirteen" has been covered by the likes of Elliott Smith and Jeff Tweedy. And from then on, I went on to devour the Beatles, the Byrds, ELO.. Thanks, Alex. Wish you could've played in Austin this Saturday.

Damn! Just found out that he had no health insurance.

Favorite Music, 2009

I did one last year, so I'll do one this year. Here are the songs I'd put on a mix CD for you, if I still did that sort of thing.

Animal Collective / My Girls
They owned the entirety of 2009 with Merriweather Post Pavilion in January and the Fall Be Kind EP in December. I can't talk about this band anymore. They are in a class of their own, and I hope they continue to put out music for decades.

Grizzly Bear / Ready Able
Another timely young band for which everything has already been said. The hype is merited! Veckatimest was not only fresh, but lovingly crafted by proficient musicians. I am still enamored with this live studio video of "While You Wait For the Others."

Bill Callahan / Jim Cain, Too Many Birds
Easily one of the best songwriters of this generation. With his rich baritone voice, he sings with a wisdom and tiredness that belies his age. Sometimes I Wish I Were An Eagle contains some excellent meandering, thoughtful songs. [I ended up in search of ordinary things / Like how could a wave possibly be..]

The National / So Far Around the Bend
They've been filling in the void left by Sufjan with their gorgeous arrangments, plus a good dose of jaded melancholia. Hard hitting lyrics for listeners on the Dark Was the Night compilation. [Take a bath and get high through an apple / Wanted to cry but you can't when you're laughing / Nobody knows where you are living / Nobody knows where you are]

Dirty Projectors / Stillness Is the Move
Bizzare mix of Dirty Projector's special brand of off-kilter choral melodies and Mariah Carey. The entire Bitte Orca is original and spectacular.

J. Tillman / Though I Have Wronged You
Forgiveness. See previous post.

Kings of Convenience / Boat Behind, Peacetime Resistance
The new Simon and Garfunkel. Makes me want to learn finger picking real bad. Declaration of Dependence is a welcome release in light of their previous hollow-pop one. They have become a more mature band (which just means that I think a song is sad but I'm not sure why).

David Bazan / Hard to Be
A very relevant album to us at this time. In Curse Your Branches, Bazan deals openly with his struggle with Christianity and God.

Loney Dear / Violent
This was a recent discovery. I had joined the guys in seeing them as SXSW in March, but their live performance in the sweaty dungeon of a 6th street bar didn't stick with me. This song is so full of life, longing, joy. The rest of Dear John is noticeably darker.

Great Lake Swimmers / Pulling On a Line
Can't get enough of these Canadian folkies.

Honorable mentions:

Sally Shapiro / Dying in Africa, Miracle (Remix by Bogdan Irkuk)
Bring on the cheese! It's called Italo disco and I couldn't get enough of it. The remix is pop perfection. The only reason it's in this section is because I easily overdose on these songs.

jj / From Africa to Malaga
I felt guilty for liking this band, because it could be in very poor taste. They sound like Caribbean-influenced easy listening world music. But oddly enough, they're Swedish and also socially acceptable to listen to. It must be one of those hipster irony things.

Vampire Weekend / Horchata
Technically, this album doesn't come out until 2010, but the single was already released. I got over the reactionary anxiety over whether I should like this band and find myself enjoying them more and more.

Cass McCombs / The Executioner Song
Previous post.

This Week:

Le Loup / Beach Town
I don't know much about this band, except that I ignored them this year. And then today I found out that they are up my alley.

Noah and the Whale / Blue Skies
I like this Brit's voice.

Girls / Hellhole Ratrace
This song is quickly growing on me. Saw them at SXSW, revisited now. Lead singer has a fascinating history- he was raised in a cult, escaped, got picked up by a rich dude, was gifted a guitar from an ex-Fleetwood Mac member, started a band.

Telekinesis / Awkward Kisser
Had this song stuck in my head weeks after I first heard it. Like a poppier, riffier DCfC.

Atlas Sound / Walkabout (w/ Panda Bear)
Keep hearing good things about this ugly but talented dude.

Sources: iguessimfloating, said the gramophone, the rawking refuses to stop!, pink teeth, stereogum, tsuru radio, the burning ear, dbf-music, captain obvious, disco workout, chickens don't clap!, regnsky, pop tarts suck toasted, polaroid alla radio, merry swankster

Glenn Tipton

Cassius Clay was hated more than Sonny Liston
Some like K.K. Downing more than Glenn Tipton
Some like Jim Nabors, some Bobby Vinton
I like 'em all

I put my feet up on the coffee table
I stay up late watching cable
I like old movies with Clark Gable
Just like my dad does

Just like my dad did when he was home
Staying up late, staying up alone
Just like my dad did when he was thinking
Oh, how fast the years fly

I know an old woman ran a donut shop
She worked late serving cops
Then one morning, babe, her heart stopped
Place ain't the same no more

Place ain't the same no more
Not without my friend, Eleanor
Place ain't the same no more
Man, how things change

I buried my first victim when i was nineteen
Went through her bedroom and the pockets of her jeans
And found her letters that said so many things
That really hurt me bad

I never breathed her name again
But I like to dream about what could have been
I never heard her calls again
But I like to dream

Useful Desires

Been pretty unmotivated about hearing new music lately. It's such a chore. This year, I've been paying attention to mostly major releases. Very good stuff from Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Bill Callahan, The Dirty Projectors, David Bazan, Kings of Convenience. Instead, I've been revisiting music I used to love years ago. The wonderful thing about some songs is that they are acutely tied to memories. Mostly good, for me. College days with so much free time to do crafts, walk around the neighborhood, stay up late and watch movies, and go camping with roommates and friends. Not that I can't ever do those activities again, but I'll never be able to go back to that special time. One song that we really loved was Patty Griffin's "Useless Desires." In fact, Patty lived a block away from our Duval house at the time. We would sometimes walk by her little green house off 45th, trying to catch her standing at an open window or working in her yard. (We never saw her.) KK, who probably loved her music the most, even once peeked inside her parked car to see what stuff was in there. And one year, we were dressing up for a friend's "100" birthday party- which meant you had to wear 100 of an item. Erin had spent the last few weeks collecting beer bottle labels from her job at the Cactus and on our way out of the house, red-headed Patty Griffin walked by and complimented Erin on her impressive get-up. I have no idea what she is up to now, and she also has moved from Hyde Park.
The lyrics to this song are so, so sad. I think I have a sick inclination of deeply enjoying very sad and depressing songs. It must be really entertaining to me, since my life isn't really sad at all. I used to say that the most beautiful things in the world are sad. Not so sure how true that is, but I would say that the hopelessness in the lyrics couples with the lovely guitar melodies very well. It could also serve as a soundtrack to your pity party of one when you are feeling particularly lonely.

Play the song on Rhapsody

Say goodbye to the old street that never cared much for you anyway
And the different colored doorways you thought would let you in one day
Goodbye to the old bus stop frozen and waiting
The weekend addition has this town over-rated
You walk across the baseball green
The grass has turned to straw
A flock of birds tries to fly away from where you are
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
I can't make you stay
I can't spend another ten years wishing you would anyway

How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
And even I'm getting tired of useless desires

Everyday I take a bitter pill
It gets me on my way
For the little aches and pains
The ones I have from day to day
To help me think a little less about the things I miss
To help me not to wonder how I ended up like this
Walk down to the railroad track and ride a rusty train
With a million other faces I shoot through the city veins
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
You wanted to be free
And somewhere beyond the bitter end is where I wanna be

How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
And even I'm getting tired of useless desires

Say goodbye to the old building that never tried to know your name
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye old friend
You won't be seeing me again
Goodbye to all the window panes shining in the sun
Like diamonds on a winter day
Goodbye, goodbye to everyone

How the sky turns to fire
Against the telephone wire
It burns the last of the day down
And I'm the last one hanging around waiting
On a train track and the train never comes back
And even I'm getting tired of useless desires

Feather by Feather

by Smog

You spent half of the morning
Just trying to wake up
Half the evening
Just trying to calm down
And you live for
The same things
A cloudburst seems
rarer every time

And it's crow vs. crow
A brawl in mid-air
Beak click on beak clack
No reason is there
But for the brawl in mid-air

If you're losing your wings
Feather by feather
Love the way they whip away
On the wind

When they make the
movie of your life
They're going to have to ask you
To do your own stunts
Because nobody nobody nobody
Could pull off the
same shit as you
And still come out alright

If you're losing your wings
Feather by feather
Love the way they whip away
On the wind

It's Ali vs. Clay
Both pummeling away
A champ always fights themself

And you are a fighter
You are a fighter
You are a fighter

And Kids got heart
Kids got heart
Kids got heart

If you're losing your wings
Feather by feather

M79

This isn't the best sounding video, but it's genuinely fun. I didn't go out of my way to listen to Vampire Weekend when they first came out and totally blew up last year. Their insane sudden popularity was followed by very strong backlash, due to their traditional African music influences. The fact that they were all super white ivy-leaguers probably didn't help either. I'm sure they didn't imagine so many strong reactions to their innocuous pop album. It's best to ignore all that BS anyway. "M79" is my favorite song of theirs, and I'm really impressed if they wrote all the string arrangements.

(Christ) Haunted

For the past several months, I have been falling off the bandwagon of new music. Even though I limit the number of mp3 blogs I subscribe to, I'm really sick of the hype machine, and the endless cycle of mass consumption it encourages. Most sites don't have anything new or insightful to offer about a new piece of music, they just want to get credit and legitimacy for posting it. And timing matters the most. If you're like me, the more you hear about something, the less you want to go discover it for yourself. I never consistently checked Pitchfork, but I am disgusted by the amount of information on their site, most of which is useless opinion, meaningless wordplay, and arbitrary ratings. And not to mention the question of the validity of reviews in general. (I will say, though, that interviews with musicians can be really insightful- those are definitely worth reading on any site.) The old joy of being a listening pioneer is stolen by too much exposure. Gone are the days of digging deep for new and interesting "indie" music, and the delight of burning mix CDs with new artists for your friends. Technology via the advent of the mp3 and the ease of digital music distribution has changed the music industry completely, and I'm not sure it's a positive revolution. (It's hard to understand the huge changes that are occurring now, and way easier to look back, huh? This book is relevant to this discussion.)

With that said, one negative result of disengaging from the music blogosphere has been missing out on some of my favorite artists' new releases. Frankly, I don't have time to visit artists' websites for updates anymore. Since they update at least daily, blogs have become the best news source. Notably, I missed the announcement of J. Tillman's new album, "Year in the Kingdom," which leaked back in July. I managed to locate it, and have been listening to it for a few days now. I stink at writing reviews, so I won't. Intrigued by its obvious Biblical imagery, I googled and found this thematic review/impression describing the album as "Christ-Haunted." I never liked Flannery O'Connor, probably because I didn't understand the characters in her stories, but even I can appreciate this phrase. If I didn't know any better and I wasn't already a fan, I'd stamp this one "boring" and move on. There are no catchy hooks to grab my attention while I am listening at work. The instrumental arrangements are more stark than his previous albums, and the lyrics possibly more bleak. But all this signals to me that this is an extremely thoughtful work of art that requires full attention listening. And even meditation, perhaps. At only 27, what does Josh Tillman know that I don't know? A lot, it seems, and very deeply. If he is indeed honest in his work, what a weary and sober soul he possesses.

Excerpt from above mentioned post:

Tillman's music is Christ-haunted not simply because his lyrics are vaguely Psalm-like, with references to rolling hills, pastures, kingdoms, and light. It is Christ-haunted because in every way, across and within songs, whether through mood established by his beautiful yet spartan guitar or his mournful lyrics, Tillman shines light on man's most central yearnings. Common to non-Christians and Christians alike (at least to those who are remotely honest with themselves) is our longing to make sense of a beautiful, joyful world that is equally filled with death, suffering, despair, guilt, regret and shame. Hoping that one day in some way our lives and our world will be made right, some hope in the political process, some in social justice crusades, some in their spouses or families, and some in the death, resurrection and return of Jesus Christ.

J. Tillman - "Though I Have Wronged You" (right click)
J. Tillman - "Crosswinds" (left click)

High quality mp3s of his live set, courtesy of AD. The live version of "Though I Have Wronged You" is especially rockin'.

Hi Tuesday

Notice a change, Mr. Internet?
I grew weary of all the extra white space on the sides here, and also decided that serifs are so old-style. So instead of creating and entirely new blog page elsewhere and elongating my trail of blogs, I picked another template. It's sort of shocking to me that there are only about 15 templates to choose from. Maybe I'm too dumb to figure out how to get other ones. Not a big worry of mine. Now if I can only figure out how to change the font from ugly Verdana..

The culturific All Saints blog posted on a work of art close to my heart: the new David Bazan album. Although, it wasn't much of a review, but largely a flexing of the author's 90's musical knowledge followed by paragraphs hugely unsupported opinions. Basically, the writer is trying to cover up his hurt that Mr. Bazan has crossed over into hostile territory and IMO very unfairly castigates the album's lyrical quality. Granted, I was/am not a Pedro the Lion fan, so I don't have much to compare this to. But, because he is a Christian (is this an unreasonable allegation?) he totally misses the complete beauty of the album.. the beautiful picture of a man struggling with his dying faith and burgeoning agnosticism. It's REAL. You don't need to be eloquent or poetic to express the deepest feelings of human experience. You just need to be honest, and that he most definitely is. If that's what the author means by "lyrical drought," then I think he is largely missing the purpose of the album. Art for art's sake is useless. I am most certain that this difficult album has connected with many others besides B and I. A "godsend," if you will, in a culture where doubt isn't necessarily encouraged and most often ignored or looked down upon.

EDIT: I saw the author at the show (along with friendly Karl), and I wondered if he was mad at me/if he read this post. Sorta like how he didn't want David Bazan to read his post because it bashed him. I doubt it, since I do not post my website on my All Saints blog postings, but I guess I will never know.

Cass McCombs

The Executioner's Song. Creepy video, beautiful folk song. Reminds me a lot of a younger Mark Kozelek. Makes me want to pick up an acoustic guitar again.

Video for the other song I like on the album, You Saved My Life.

So Far Around the Bend

This song has been on my mind for weeks. It features such a light and pretty arrangement by Nico Muhly, but the lyrics are starkly gloomy. It's sad because it's so true, eh? Song for all the alienated hipsters who have not found anything real in the big city. I mean, that describes a lot of people who listen to the National. It's scary to think that this also might have described me in a highly probable alternative life.. leaving church, pushing away people, immersing in culture... being alone. But now I have B and I know that it'll never happen to me.

Hear

I know you're a serious lady
Living off a teacup full of cherries
Nobody knows where you are living
Nobody knows where you are

Take a bath and get high through an apple
Wanted to cry but you can't when your laughing
Nobody knows where you are living
Nobody knows where you are

You're so far around the bend
You're so far around the bend

I'll run through a thousand parties
I'll run through a million bars
Nobody knows where you are living
Nobody knows where you are

You've been humming and I think it's forever
Praying for Pavement to get back together
Nobody knows where you are living
Nobody knows where you are

You're so far around the bend
You're so far around the bend

There is no leaving New York
There is no leaving New York

-The National

Hospice

Been enjoying this album by The Antlers on and off at work. Here is a complete album stream for free. B has remarked how some songs sound like a totally different band. Or maybe it's that whenever I play it, he asks me who the band is after every other song. Hehe.

I haven't listened too closely to the lyrics, but I get the feeling that the whole thing is super depressing... judging from the title.

Missed them at SXSW (Club Primos! overrun by white hipsters for 4 days!), but I can't imagine that they'd be able to recreate the atmosphere in a hot, smoky, bar.

No filler, folks! Try it out.

Img source: Band Camp

Bare bones

I'm not gonna overdo it this year.
All free = so good. (With the exception of Grizzly Bear, who I might stand outside the venue for)

No more fantasy

Daniel
When I first saw you
I knew that you had a flame in your heart
And under wild blue sky, marble moon skies
I found a home in your eyes, we'd never be apart

And when the fires came, the smell of cinders and rain
Perfumed almost everything
We laughed and laughed and laughed
And in the golden blue,
You took me to the darkest place you knew
And set fire to my heart

When I run in the dark
Daniel
Into a place that's lost
Daniel
Under a sheet of gray (?) in my heart
I dream of home

But in a goodbye bet with my arms around your neck
Into our mouths the tears crept,
Just kids in the eye of the storm
And as my house (?) ran round,
My dream pulled me from the ground
Forever to search for the flame,
For home again, for home again

-- Moving song, but I've become more cynical about fantasy worlds in art. Time to live in the actual world?--

Made the chocolate lava cake of yesterday's post. I used a small 7" casserole dish ($1 from Goodwill), left it too long in the oven, so it wasn't molten, but fully cooked. It was super rich and B and I couldn't even finish it between the 2 of us. He had it mixed in with his vanilla yogurt, which reminded me of how my roommates and I used to do that with No-Pudge brownies to make them go a little bit further.

Commented on a recent blog post by my friend Rachel. The topic of her post really hit me hard and reminded me of what I lack in my surroundings and social interactions. I have too many things, and not enough community. Why is it so hard to cultivate or find??

Img source: Jorgen1032's photostream

Over the new musics

Though I hadn't ever completely thought it, this post explains why I'm not passionate about discovering new music anymore. These days, it's either all over the blogs or blaring at Urban Outfitters (love/hate relationship moving quickly towards hate).

The joy is gone.

Aimee Mann

I've liked Aimee Mann for a long time. (Way before I saw Magnolia in what, 2004?) She's definitely a mainstream artist, but her popularity among her diverse listeners stands as a testament to her skill. From what I've heard, her songs are consistently good. Catchy, but not too catchy, and a deep sadness and even futility underlies many of them. As she older than most of the artists I listen to, her music is still wonderfully relevant.

Been enjoying her Daytrotter set. (See "Phoenix." Love the organ (?) lines in the background.) Daytrotter is geared towards the hipper indie music genre, so I was quite pleased to see her on there.

I keep a service bell by my bed for you.

The lovely Ed Droste (of Grizzly Bear fame) has a Twitter. I'm tickled. I appreciate how connected he is.

And a new redone song by Grizzly Bear feat. Feist. Beautifully haunting, and all too short. Stream here. (Edit 1/29 - track rotated to Sufjan) Stream HERE

Img source: Exclaim!

while we have the sun

image by lemonfresh

Mirah's pretty tune about our transcient lives this sunless day makes me a bit sad. I really love the 4th stanza- piercing.

Let's take the time to walk together while we have the sun
You never know when temperamental weather's gonna come
And if you want to face the death you're never that far from
Just take a breath and sing to it when all the day is done

So sorry about all the sorrow in your life you'll know
It's true that all the ones you love will someday have to go
And everytime you say goodbye you'll hear the trumpets blow
A serenade to the soul, all surrounded by the glow

If you feel all broken 'cause i left you there too soon
Just know that it's not up to you to make the flowers wilt or bloom
And if you think you're lonely then just listen for the tune
Of all the stars i left for you in the chest of the moon

If you want to shake whatever separates you from
The holiness you want to make your life on earth become
Live your life with a compassion you can be proud of
Then let your last breath fade away with dignity and love

Let's take the time to walk together while we have the sun
You never know when temperamental weather's gonna come
And if you want to face the death you're never that far from
Just take a breath and sing to it when all the day is done

Album

"what do i want? a best friend i'm in love with"

this song makes me realize how romantic the idea of a person can seem when you're alone. plus it's so twee, which makes it all the more melancholy.

i'm not alone.. and it's pretty fun most of the time. i have to think about it more to appreciate what i have, but i'm working on that. and manage myself the times i am being driven crazy. or am doing the driving. haha.

i used to think i was a good and patient person.. not anymore. can't fool myself anymore. last year's events twisted me and turned me the opposite, sad to say. i became unbending because i bent too much. messed up. anyway, i guess i am only starting now to learn about love. i don't understand how to receive it, even after all these years. and how to give it? clueless and bumbling. what does it mean to have it? geez i really do hope i grow up soon, for the sake of everyone around me. sometimes i see things how they really are and am shocked at how b even puts up with me so much. unbelievable!

love the goofs

Today's theme on eklektikos: world smile day. this at the end of a cowboy song made me smile:

well done
hot dog bun
my sister's a nun

- John Prine's "Illegal Smile"

Joined the seriouscompacts.com group on flickr. Hope I get a serious compact soon. Very soon.

new YACHT shirt (idea)

The School of Life. I've run across this website and wasn't sure what to think about this so-called school. All Saints (my old church) was intrigued and wrote an exploratory blog post about it. Fascinating! And man, how is Gate Davis so in the know? Can't wait to read what Greg's dialogue.

Alain de Botton (from The School of Life) interview in Monocle about what's right and wrong about urban development. "There can be genius in the ordinary, and mediocrity in the extraordinary."