Standstill

Hm, that was a pretty bad last post. That feeling is a prison. I've reached the point in my life where I really need some hobbies. I've realized that so many of my old interests involved other people in a group setting. Now that I have no automatic group, and B loves doing solitary activities, I desperately need to find a way to entertain myself. As a kid, I was a jack of all trades. If something looked interesting, I'd do some research, pay the money and pick it up. Applied mostly to instruments: piano, viola, guitar, bass, drums, mandolin, djembe. Most things didn't stick, but my appetite was voracious. Then sometime later after college I screeched to a complete halt. It was due to the frustration from not being really good at anything after all those years, and also a heed to the call to de-clutter. Clutter is bad stuff, that's what all the self-help blogs say. But I've gone way beyond, where I hesitate to buy non-food items because I've come to see things as bad. And I shoot down budding desires to try anything new, because I'll probably just grow tired of it later. That balance is a mystery to me. Having varied interests may just be something I have to accept about myself.