Here I am sitting at JP's Java, taking a little study break. I decided to come here because even though there are so many coffee shops in the neighborhood, few meet my expectations. I had forgotten how good JP's is. I also love how they put the radio station on the classical music channel - excellent study soundtrack, I must say. Anyway, right when I found "my area" and set everything up on the table, I scribbled away at Chinese and couldn't help but become drawn into a conversation three women were having on the leather couch next to me. Basically this meek-ish/upset student playwright was very annoyed by the fact that one of her older and more experienced directors/actors(?) was being heavy-handed and changing the direction of the script. You know you can't focus on academics when you are emotionally engaged, and I felt myself vicariously reliving her situation as if it were mine..
Playwright girl: "Blah legitimate complaints blah complaints blah blah.. and I'm so angry I could throw up. And blah blah more grievances"
Friend: "Well, did you say that to her?"
PG: "Well, no, but.."
[ACK! This girl's got some assertiveness issues just like me]
Friends: "You should tell her! Or better yet, write her a letter."
I am the type who expresses so much more effectively and fully in words than in instant-by-instant speech. My brain doesn't work that fast and it's probably a good thing, because it forces me to think things through before replying.
One day last week (I forget which one), I went out and purchased some sweeter tobacco, namely French Vanilla & Honey Clover. In all my excitement and eagerness, I packed the pipe and had a go at it, alone and at night in Duval Villa's deserted BBQ pit area.. I must have puffed too furiously and probably breathed lots of ash because after relighting it ten-ish times and feeling the bowl get very hot to the touch, I suddenly felt extremely lightheaded and sick. So I set the pipe down on the wood bench, stumbled inside and fell on our couch. And then next thing I knew the wooden pit area was on fire! Ok not true, but it was a reasonable fear. Turns out I was pretty much done with the bowl as what I tapped out later was completely ash. I also burned my tongue pretty good a couple times and so for the past few days I've been recovering from numbed taste buds and a scratchy roof. Ugh. This whole pipe dealio has not been as fun as I imagined.. I don't know if my mouth can take any more beatings in the process of cultivating the ability to properly smoke a pipe..
Today in Abnormal Psych we talked about dementia, delirium, elderly depression.. ha, this time I can't relate it to any of my friends, which I always try to do, you know, in an attempt to connect my new knowledge to my world. Our TA described a 1st-year graduate study where one volunteer would be selected and given a MMPI (a personality test). The graduates would analyze this person for practice. MMPI's apparently cost hundreds of dollars to take (not too hefty a price if you want to delve deeper into yourself..) but the catch is that the volunteer must be experiencing a problem that is causing a great deal of stress. I called the woman in charge of the study and she's supposed to call me back today; I think it'd be worthwhile to take a detailed personality inventory once and for all, the thing is, I'm feeling pretty anxious about having to talk about a "problem" with a stranger, and who knows if I'd make a good case for this study. Shaky heart!
Burrs on my brain:
"If you find honey, eat just enough-
too much of it, and you will vomit."
Friend of PG: "A lot of people think God/Jesus is sexy. Love and sex tend to get mixed up a lot and since God is love, they want to have sex with him. That's probably why some people want to sleep with priests and other religious leaders and stuff."
Confusion between holy and carnal passion? The basis of the Spanish movie El Crimen Del Padre Amaro . I thought the movie was ok.
The Power of Deep Prioritizing
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