Lots, lots have been going on lately. Today was the last day of school. I am taking my Chinese final early, next Tuesday, and then I will have a few days of absolute free time to watch movies with my lovely RUFers, shop, gather my things, and maybe even ponder life. Listening to "For Real" by Okkervil River, I can't say I'm a fan of the band, but I like the song and last night as I was driving home I paid attention to the lyrics and realized just how depressing they really are.
"Some nights I thirst for real blood,
for real knives, for real cries.
And then the flash of steel from real guns
in real life really fills my mind...
Sometimes the blood from real cuts
feels real nice when it's really mine.
And if you want it to be real, come over for a night,
we can really, really climb,
and those blue bridge lights might really burn
most bright while we watch that dark lake rise.
And if you really want to see what really matters most to me,
we can just take a real short drive..
And there’s nothing quite like the blinding light
when that curtain’s cast aside, and no attempt
is made to explain away the things that
really, really, really are behind."
You don't have to read all of that. We all know how annoying it is to have to run your eyes through lots and lots of lyrics which mean nothing to the reader.
Today I finally met the famous Ruth Mayer. Turns out I had seen her earlier today and even talked to her without even knowing her true identity.
In short, this week has been crazy to the max. Not only does housing keep shapeshifting, I have come to a crossroads in my spiritual walk. For the first time, I struggle with my sin and with my faith! Shake my life of sameness for 19 years, gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww