Fresnel lenseur [the start of summer]

"It's summertime and though it's hard to see its true
possibilities"

That's how it is, it's like looking at a painting very close up, grainy and all. Pretty uninspiring. Before the start of it I could stand back and have goals and be optimistic. No! don't let me fall into this cycle of waste again. There are, however, Changes:
1) I have a two week temp job working full-time as a secretary. Piece of chocolate cake; these forced experiences always make me realize that my people skills need some brushing up on. Can I say that it's just my personality? I can be no Erin. Found out that I won't be able to work at Princeton Review teaching little kiddos pricey secrets of the SAT this summer after all.
2) My parentals think I am addicted to smoking. Outrageous thought, although it might be a reasonable assumption considering that they know so little detail of my smoking experience in college (very limited) and that parents have that nasty habit of assuming the worst at times. Sorry RUF, sorry friends, you are collectively known as "bad company" for who knows how long. For those of you early leavers, Nora and I purchased a total of 50 cigarillos (and 2 non-flavored cigars) at Bobalu's in 6th. Smoking is not that inherently enjoyable to me. I don't even like smoke. I'm just a product of the age, ready to consume anything and everything laid out in front of me, whether my body likes it or not. Social reasons are the most of it and do I love society!
3) Going along with the unproductive wave that sweeps over students when summer actually starts, I'm going to tell you what I want(ed) to accomplish.

I. Get decent on the mandolin
II. Learn proper English grammar (it never stuck in hs)
III. Remember the Chinese I learned
IV. Enter the stream which is called reading the latest books and then some because there's no way I can catch up with the well-read intelligents of America
V. Design: find out if it's for me, learn the means (how?), get my ideas out and then see if there is a future
VI. And lastly, most urgently, make some cold hard cash to slap in front of the Carter's next year (and not share my room with shedding cats in the meantime)
-I went on an application run on Monday and one of the places I went was Half Price Books. They weren't hiring. Are they ever? Is it not discriminatory that all of their employers are either a) off-kilter b) careless c) plain weird d) all the above ? Instead of going about getting money the regular way, how about I've never seen Asian people working there and then sue the company? Yes?

I miss friends. I miss fellowship, is more like it. Andrew and Eric came over tonight to chat; Andrew and I were gonna have a smoke (I initiated in an email), but I refrained because I wanted to sway my parents' misinformed opinion as soon as possible, so I could use up them cigarillos as soon as possible. Of course he knocked flavored cigars whilst puffing away; can't I ever find things out and enjoy the personal feeling that comes with every little discovery and new experience? Can't it be a normal thing, not a sheltered thing? In general, the jaded ones who let loose easily ruin it for the young bright-eyed voyeurs.

You'll be proud of me for this one. Trying to be well-rounded and not topple over from excess and overkill in one area. Even though I've heard many a relatively unknown, make-no-mark bands, ex. the high dials, hefner, 20 minute loop, and electrolane, who cares about that if I have a shameful deficiency of knowledge in the subject of "old music"/the classics. So, in effort to soften the edges, last night was dedicated to listening to (and I found myself really enjoying) some of the best of pre-90's, in no particular order and in no way exhaustive (thanks to allmusic for the recs):

"If it's lasted this long, it must be good"

Pink Floyd
Eric Clapton
ABBA
ELO
The Who
The Doors
Jethro Tull
Carole King
Rod Stewart
Bob Dylan
The Rolling Stones
The Byrds
Eddie Cochrane
Fleetwood Mac
Elvis Costello
Creedence Clearwater Revival
The Clash
Elton John
The Specials
Van Morrison
David Bowie
The Mamas & Papas
Tom Petty
Bob Seger
AC/DC
Yes
Alan Parsons
Cream

So, In this way I am not a true blue American. But a lot doens't happen for you when you are born to immigrated parents. That's just the way it is!

Ah what the heck, it's only music. How now, some real tragedies: Amnesty International

Sleep to do. Work at 8:30 tomorrow morning.