A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.