tagged.

OK today I will respond to this being tagged by Rachel that asks me to share 7 random facts about myself. Not sure how 'random' these will be, since I'm not really that exciting, in my opinion. Mostly keep to myself.

1. I have the same birthday as my brother, who is 5 years younger than I.
2. I have a psychological disgust for most cheese, unless it is melted, white and not the main ingredient in a dish.
3. I am afraid that I will get tired of everything.
4. I don't like taking pictures of people.
5. My mind is empty most of the time (but I'm trying to amend that).
6. I've been to the island of Macao.
7. I used to lead youth group worship team at my church in Plano.

caring is creepy

We're standing
We're standing
You call that gone?
I'm standing on the firmest ground ever invented
Firm ground I invented

Do you remember the one who took 'Place in the Sun' from you?
I know you do
He had a heart of tin
And this amazing desire!
The face of a sphinx that smiled

Out on the wall
A hand had begun writing
Everybody understood
That it didn't mean a thing

Did you fall in love with someone?
Did you "give up on that" for some strange sun?
Weren't you the one...
Fall back in love with someone?

Did you fall in line for someone?
Back down the same road that you came here from
Weren't you the one
That told me not to
Move around but never through?
That's the only thing we ever do

source: Nick Hance Flickr

this poem used to be on erin's wall

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.
Do not now look for the answers.
They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.
It is a question of experiencing everything.
At present you need to live the question.
Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

"what do i want? a best friend i'm in love with"

this song makes me realize how romantic the idea of a person can seem when you're alone. plus it's so twee, which makes it all the more melancholy.

i'm not alone.. and it's pretty fun most of the time. i have to think about it more to appreciate what i have, but i'm working on that. and manage myself the times i am being driven crazy. or am doing the driving. haha.

i used to think i was a good and patient person.. not anymore. can't fool myself anymore. last year's events twisted me and turned me the opposite, sad to say. i became unbending because i bent too much. messed up. anyway, i guess i am only starting now to learn about love. i don't understand how to receive it, even after all these years. and how to give it? clueless and bumbling. what does it mean to have it? geez i really do hope i grow up soon, for the sake of everyone around me. sometimes i see things how they really are and am shocked at how b even puts up with me so much. unbelievable!