Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Above photo: B's house. No central AC or heating. It hasn't been pleasant hanging out there in the evenings, even with this mild Texas winter.. I should tell myself it's like camping! Something I've been meaning to do anyway in one of the nearby state parks (McKinney State Falls, maybe?). Gear is so expensive though. Gotta escape that city life and practice some Wordsworth!
I took that photo and 19 other polaroids last weekend. I never really liked polaroids, because image quality is low, exposures are expensive (well now they're around $2 a shot), and it became way too hipstery. To me, photographic artistry went out the window, every crudely composed polaroid assumed instant charm. This photographer's essay on Lomography partly encapsulates my feeling. "[It] became a synonym for bad pictures, for seeing things that aren't there, for labeling everything art." But after seeing the magic of the SX-70 (and a 10-pack of polaroid film at Walgreens), I felt like paying tribute to this highly influential format. The results were satisfactory, but I think I'll stick with my 35mm film and slr with manual settings.
Funny thing, I think about my life so much at work. Because I am very underutilized and too lazy to do anything about it now. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. So, here's the thing. I'm doing all the right sustainable things in my life, like cutting out high fructose corn syrup, throwing away my teflon pans, turning down the thermostat, not using disposable dishware.. But overall? Mostly clueless, and skeptical of what I used to know (the "Christian" life. Need new "eyes." So much makes me shudder). I'm tempted to drop everything again, and start anew, but it was hard picking anything back up. Where is my passion? I've been baking more these days, and I love bringing people fresh baked goods, but that is only an interest. I've been trying to read more, and while the books are interesting, they don't really stick. Is it because I haven't really lived? There is nothing here worth pouring my full self into..
This is Fern at 4:10 PM