I feel like the mother of the world

Take a hint, give a hint. Cards to hand to people who constantly yap into small metal bleeping devices, loudly. Let's cut down on the noise pollution already. And if you print them out on nice cardstock, it'll be even better. SHHH!

It seems like everyone in this college is learning about black folk and racism in their classes. Theme? A good thing to know, although I still feel just as removed from their terrible experiences. Mine is in the context of education of course, specifically addressing the why's of low-achievement among black students. Factors and complicatedness, but it is not their fault like we think! It makes me ask nonstop, in America, how the hell do these people survive? It is said that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Then they are very strong people.

Mojo's Daily Grind on Guadalupe is a pretty neat place. And it used to be a house, silly. Rach, Nora and I studied there tonight, amidst the swirlies of hot smoke on the porch, and then to the tune of a loud and angsty boy who was promoting himself on an open mic. I had just finished my school book, Young, Gifted And Black, and it took me 3 times as long with that background noise beckoning in my ears. I always felt a little self-conscious carrying that book around with it's title in fat bold butternut squash-orange letters on its black cover. Reform, reform. I am getting the idea that we humans started off on bad footing on just about anything and everything and for the rest of time we are trying to fix it, layers and layers of fixing. What can we say that is great for the collective human race? Hum. We are messed up and therefore, we mess up.

Been experiencing some anxiety lately from the machine component. Why don't we use the most effective ways to do things? Especially things that are important, like learning, teaching, studying, exercising, scheduling, ee e e? But if we save time and energies, what do we use that extra on? More efficiency? Is this how business and capitalism work? Life is but a vapor, and then it's gone. How much have I wasted?
Ok, and then there are relationships. Messy, wonderous things. I was thinking, I would not trade society for amazing aesthetic ability; that's why great artists need to kill themselves, dying alone. They couldn't help being selfish. In some ways, the sadness becomes even more real when you can share it with someone. Otherwise, whose reality are you trusting? Ah, I must soon retire, now that I've started spilling words concerning things I know nothing about.

Biking to Mr. Natural's (Chicon and Ceasar Chavez) with Mary tomorrow for lunch. Extra special, I say!

Googlism

frances lee is able to be back with us
frances lee is now seeking to have the full length of the old route
frances is still a disorganized tropical depression
frances is a star in her own right
frances is tired of my drug questions so
frances is part demon part succubi
frances is married to jesus c
frances is eating that is good for her
frances is released through an outlet pipe in the east dam into the canal downstream

kristi is featured in the june/july issue of "go figure" online magazine
kristi is game
kristi is whipped and licked
kristi is thrilled to announce that her august silhouette desire
kristi is at it again
kristi is not in school she likes to read
kristi is a lovely petite indonesian girl from the island of java
kristi is greeted with her first parking ticket from a handsome motor officer
kristi is clinging onto kayjay as she sobs
kristi is drooling from anticipation
kristi is determined to find out who douglas merson really is
kristi is buried

erin is a gyroscope
erin is backed up
erin is a dork
erin is another one where there are quite a few
erin is sporting mall hair
erin is calling this sheet music is for a song called "erin is calling"
erin is almost 18 years old and nick is almost 17 years old
erin is an inspirational reminder of the human spirit
erin is natalie's babysitter and is the one who got her to giggle on the movie clip
erin is a sweet and happy baby who smiles all day long
erin is just so ballsy and indomitable that the final outcome is never in much doubt

mary is the mother of god
mary is a devil
mary is beheaded
mary is a bonny lassie
mary is the girl i love
mary is not tin lizzie
mary is mayor for killybegs
mary is arrested for giving brownies to suffering
mary is still there after all these years?
mary is in a movie called miss lettie and me which airs on tnt dec
mary is that she looks like my girlfriend casie

michael is one hot papi chulo
michael is gonna kick jpm's fat butt on sunday
michael is £30
michael is out and morgan is in
michael is playing i am lying on my bedroom floor
michael is not latoya
michael is possibly the best ever of this wine
michael is currently vice
michael is still rejoicing in flinging in the sheaves
michael has been eating almost nothing except peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches

sarah is a beast
sarah is one the country's top five
sarah is the real thing
sarah is my favorite big brother babe
sarah is good for soup
sarah is anywhere where a pile of leaves calls to you to dive in it
sarah is mentioned in adam sandler's new chanukah song 3
sarah is fiercely independent and adamant about staying that way
sarah is so cute when she's drunk
sarah is dolphinsezzy
sarah is seeking to seeking to fill in the jerusalem area

joyce is related to me but how?
joyce is one of the many people who graduated from indiana university and decided to make monroe county her home
joyce is really jumpin'
joyce is great date
joyce is young at heart and she's gone through her life being pulled
joyce is predominantly humorous
joyce is known as the psychic's psychic
joyce is seen in a wet bathing suit and at a party with her blouse open exposing most of her breast but no nipple
joyce is portrayed as a bodacious dullard

johnny is cause for rejoicing
johnny is a junky
johnny is punk rawk
johnny is like a god over there
johnny is just plain bad
johnny is shot down while fighting nazi planes over libya
johnny is up to his usual tricks again this week
johnny is a successful photographer who has started an affair with a client of his
johnny is a less than well adjusted human being
johnny is our main photocopying person and has spent scores of hours turning pages
johnny is not insane because of his need for killing

valerie is vegetarian?
valerie is about to come full circle on her decade
valerie is 8 years old and ready for the 3rd grade
valerie is in search of kids who are using their heads and wearing helmets while on wheels
valerie is a girl who is stucked in singapore
valerie is not a large mare
valerie is about to be late for her first day at her new job
valerie is the perfect companion for your busy day
valerie is sent away to catholic school

The Minimal Pairs

Oh sick so I hate smelling like smoke. It makes me feel so.. bad.

Song of the day:
A Happy Medium Malcolm Middleton

Who knew that a middle-aged Scottish man would still share the same issues with a teenager. Can you relate?

Woke up again today,
Realized I hate myself
My face is a disease

You wouldn't expect the despairing words to be paired with the happy clinks and uptempo beat though.

Happy All Saints Day! On Halloween, I watched two movies: The Birds and Shaun of the Dead. My nerves were SO overworked from too much stress about hiding out from vicious, killer creatures, like common seagulls and zombies. I made my first caramel apple though, ate chocolate covered Fiber One critters and ran the Mary (and a half!), which was about 4 miles. Whew! My legs hurt afterwards, which is probably due to my stinkin' overpronation.

I skinned my elbow trying to master a skateboard. I nearly took out the side of a passing car as the board shot out from under my trusting feet. Not hardcore, but at least I have deck shoes. It looks like the boys have a lot of fun doing it, and it might be good to have a few tricks under my belt for when I need them. It's just that complete skateboards are $100+ .. am I ready for another hobby? Heck, I still need drum lessons. Oh, and I had to turn down an awesome sounding weekend camping trip 8 hours away because I will be in Dallas! Seeing the folks after weeks of separation, should be good, especially the Asian home cooking. Yum.

OK now, I should be off to bed and early to wake for registration tomorrow. Yay.

Oh gosh, here's the rest of the song:
...

i'm gonna need to find

a happy medium

to make my future look good

my body is a temple

and my hands and mouth are science

smoke till my mouth gets furry

then smoke some ugly more

let the juices flow

being alive right now is sore

everything's ok

i'm obviously unhappy

you can tell I'm losing it again

paper on the piano

credit in the red

i cant find my friends

walk the market aisles

looking for a girl

i asked out when i was 10

and i just don't fit in

too unfit for the gym

my youth is dead

woke up again today

Red Hands

Hella! I just got back from a 7:30 AM 10-ish mile bike ride down the Waller Creek trail to Town Lake. Austin is so good to have made trails that straddle their creeks - what a great way to see the town. I love it! As you can imagine, it was quite the chill outside at that dark hour but now it's changing to a sweet sunny disposition. My chain falls off the crankset (?) pretty frequently, like once every ride, and I wonder if it's because I'm shifting incorrectly. We passed by our fair share of bundled-up urban campers and whiffs of stinky sewage. That's what happens when you go under bridges a lot. On the tiring way back, I almost fell off my bike when I inhaled a big breathe of air polluted with UT bus exhaust. Sick. Wouldn't it be neat if there was a Bike City? That kind of thing would be more feasible in Europe, I suppose. Now I must shower soon.

I went rockclimbing with Rachel last night at Gregory - this week is "bring a buddy" week, so it's free. It was bouldering I think, climbing from side to side, as opposed to straight up. I fell a few times on the springy floor, not bad. Rockclimbing is a lot harder that I imagined, mostly because it takes more than effort. My arms have never been more tired or tense. (Good) Climbers are just so cute though. Haha. I may or may not go back again this week, depends on my confidence level. It's so worrisome to work with unsteady grips and having to deal with the possibility of a fall at any time. I am no Spiderwoman.

Hey, next Friday, I may be going to see Nickel Creek play at a private luncheon hosted by KGSR. Mary has the hookup with her boss at the Cactus.. oh, connections! They aren't my favorite band, but are probably the band I most want to see live. I may have to take notes watching Chris Thile, that mando master. Maybe he'll give me a few pointers. We'll see. Anyway, I'm pumped about that, and hopefully it'll happen for me.

Erin is coming back! You have no idea of how much that brightens my outlook- next semester is going to be AWESOME. Although it's been a learning experience without her here, I'm more than ready ready to have my good friend back, far away from the clutches of Spanish influence, at least for the time being. Party party party!

Here's a Wednesday song for you. I've had this mp3 for a while and just recently realized how Awesome it is, it belongs on the "G.O.O.D. songs" playlist for sure. It's a chugger:
The Wrens - "Everyone Chooses Sides"

Wasabi Peas (are hot)

A new photo album chronicling the 2nd Annual Jack-o-lantern Wooha we celebrated this afternoon is up. #23, enjoy.

"Life is a daring adventure, or nothing." said Helen Keller.

What's your daring adventure?

Mary says, "post 5 weird and random facts about yourself." Whoever reads may do likewise on their blog.

1. I held off shaving my legs as long as humanly possible until maybe the end of junior high. (Don't worry, I didn't really wear shorts/skirts.) I thought, why give in to the machine?
2. I never brush my hair. Is that terrible?
3. I get bloody noses when I eat too much chips, other fried foods, mangoes, lychees, stuff like that. And by "stuff," I mean foods we Chinese label as "hot." The body must then be balanced by the eating of "cold/cool" foods.
4. A good pen makes all the difference to me. The quality of my homework and notetaking significantly lessens if I am using an inferior writing instrument, like a regular pencil or a cheap UHS pen. Currently I use and recommend the Uni-ball Signo 0.3, 0.5 and the Pilot Hi-Tec-C pen. (Available in Asia.)
5. My brother and I share the same birthday, July 2nd, but we're 5 years apart. What is it like to celebrate your sibling's birthday? I don't know.

OK, was that geeky enough for you?

My professor was in last week's Austin Chronicle

Saturday! The best of days for a Type A.

Hear the soundtrack to my week of sitting out on the front porch in the lazy Texas afternoons:
Go here and click on #2, "Jezebel"

This morning I was set on going to the local gun shop and purchasing a bb gun. I've heard so much of cockroaches, squirrels and other rodents these past few days, thought I'd take advantage of all the moving targets. Do you think I could shoot my/someone's eye out? I'm not much of a risk-taker - my brain is adequately stimulated. I'm reading this book for a class about risks- it's rather fascinating and offers a look into the often overlooked healthy aspects of risk-taking. Bottom-line: we need them to grow! Anyway, I didn't get the gun.

What I'm going to do the rest of the semester is plan outings for the weekends to satisfy my adventure drive. The correct maps have been printed out in color and circled on. I feel very limited by my body and lack of technical knowlegde, but every expert used to be a beginner, right? So if I cannot bike the Greenbelt right now (more experienced bikers advised Rachel and me against it), I am determined on hiking it. Anyone care to join? I look forward to the great feeling of knowing a place, which entails being familiar with it, and in a sense to have "conquered it." And the more rugged the better. Perhaps I have some of that American spirit flowing through my veins, thicker than blood. A day trip to Enchanted Rock is on my to do list too. Gregory Gym happens to have an outdoor center with lots of resources- I'd better take advantage of that since UT makes me throw money at it every year in the form of mandatory student fees. I've thought about going climbing (more), but it's a lot of work affording all your equipment, driving to climbing sites, finding people to go with, and then there's the whole safety issue. Or I'm just lazy and risk-avoidant.

Things I will miss out on this weekend: a large portion of roommate Mary's birthday celebrations, which include table-side smores at Halcyon, the Vegetarian Chili Cookoff, Brown Bar.. what else? I am, however, attending a The Go! Team show at Emo's tomorrow night. Sad thing is, Emo's is the only music venue I have only been to in Austin; a change of scene would be nice. Ok! Time to get out of my cave of a room.

The Sour Details

Here's a little summary of how my diet has been going so far.
Today: Day 6 (at least 4 more to go)
Cheated?: Yes, on the third day, which was probably the hardest, with a granola bar. Funny thing was, it wasn't even tasty, even though it was Kashi (those are normally pretty good). My taste buds were dulled, except to the drink.
Pounds lost: +/- a total of 6, variation due to faulty electronic scales and inaccurate measurements. However, I don't feel significantly lighter and the book says that one will gain back some weight after getting off the diet. Fair enough.
Drink recipe: Note- HEB lemons suck with their thick skins, a whole one will go into a cup. Central Market's are much better, and I bought 20 of them at half a lemon per cup. I add about 1.5 tablespoons of syrup and approximately 30 specks of cayenne pepper. For the first cup I made, I pretty much dumped in the recommended amount of 1/10 a tablespoon and almost quit the diet right then and there- it burned bad!

The most difficult thing has been resisting food cravings, despite the fact that I am never hungry. The nutrients in the lemons and maple syrup take care of that, but my mind and will gravitates towards food, especially in social situations. That just goes to show what a diehard glutton I have become. Eating is also so habitual.
There was one point in time, Day Four, when the thought of a previously-craved Mother's Garden Burger, Hilbert's fries, or even the Healthy Choice mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer failed to stimulate my appetite. I wanted to throw it out and eat Mr. Natural's (voted "Most Healthy Mexican Food" in Austin) and unprocessed raw foods for the rest of my life. That was a pretty amazing and empowering feeling to have, to have cast off the desires for unhealthy and even regular, carnivorous-fare food for at least the time being. I tend to alternate daily between wanting to quit at the sight of food and wanting to stay on it longer at the thought of health. What worries me most is that after I get off the diet, one bad choice and I'll plummet back into the world of greasy foods, sweets, and overeating once again. As we all know, it's exceedingly difficult to climb out of that once it gets going. So along with the fact that I cheated three days into it, since I will be going on the RUF Fall Conference next weekend, which means camp food (BAD!!!!), I may elongate this diet to fifteen days to avoid that pitfall.
Supposedly, on this diet, you will have enough energy to go about your daily activities. I haven't been exercising as of late, especially running, and I nearly collapsed a few times from exhaustion during a late night game of Ultimate on Wednesday night. That probably had to do mostly with me being out of shape and a bit dehydrated as well. Rachel and I had also planned to go on our first mountain bike ride tomorrow- we'll see how that turns out.
As far as going to the bathroom, I have been taking the recommended cup of laxative tea each morning right before school (hm, not such a great idea), instead of the salt water bath, which I cannot bring myself to consume. I have been experiencing more stomachaches than usual, which more than likely has to do with the cheating, but they almost always lead to a trip to the bathroom. Sometimes, the pain can get pretty intense. There was one time when our toilet broke and I was in the middle of such an ache- not good! But in the words of other people, I haven't had any "master poops."
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger: that was certainly true last night, where I spent a good three hours celebrating a friend's birthday at Shady Grove. True, it made for some pretty dark moments watching everyone else munch down on the fresh chips and salsa and then attacking their delectable sandwiches, but I'm alive and over it. Food is such a fleeting pleasure, yet without its enjoyment, life lacks luster. One thing I now consciously admit is that I use it to address my issues of discomfort and boredom so often. It is my hope that I can find a healthier way to deal after I get off the diet and commit to eating more responsibly.

And one last thing, lemons (and limes) are truly good for you! If you crave unhealthy foods or your health needs a big boost, do this diet!

Reducing Beyond

Neat alternatives:

10x10
Get your news through pictures. It's a pretty neat concept, although I prefer the more efficient organization of Yahoo! News or CNN. (I found out about that earthquake just minutes after it occurred last night. Silence. What should be our response to more than 20,000 people killed by such a natural disaster?

LäraBar
I went to the Daily Juice on Barton Springs twice yesterday, and the first time was the First time. The juice is great, store so Austin-y and I tried this health bar recommended to me by my friend. I got cherry. What amazed me about it was that it only had four ingredients, all healthy, all uncooked. It tastes pretty good too, it's just a bit expensive, selling for $2 a bar even on the Internet. But I will have to wait it out, because today I started the..

Master Cleanser
I realize that the site looks hokey due to the webmaster's lack of flashy html skills, but bear with me. Roommate Mary has been on this lemonade diet for nearly 10 days, the minimum time recommendation. She's doing fine. It's supposed to clean your system of disease-causing buildings, wean you off coffee or tobacco and even help you lose some weight in the meantime. (Not that I drink coffee or use tobacco.) If it succeeds, perhaps it is worth taking a look into other food ideas available at my local ultra-health foodstores.

Harold and Maude (1971)
This film is not so much alternative as it is .. one I watched last night. It's not your average old film though, it involves an unlikely romance between a 20-year old boy/man and a 79-year old woman. Whether or not you are turned off by that combination, the underlying message is univeresal. I recommend it. Oh, and it has a soundtrack by Cat Stevens.

Feeling New

Hi, today is a good day. I feel so fresh! Thanks to the deliciously cool weather, I don't feel like I'm in Texas at all, but on vacation or something. This feeling may not last very long, but I look forward to this weekend's events (buying out TCBY, going to a friend's play, giving blood, seeing my family) and rest with anticipation.

Today I had to purchase gelato at Texas Expresso after realizing, sample spoon in my mouth, the 'free gelato' coupon I was clutching so triumphantly in my hand had expired just last week. So I got Texican Vanilla and Chocolate Oreo- what a great team. Like any logical person of today, I ate and did my homework outside on the patio. Next to my table was a group of three students/graduates, a girl and two guys, who were carrying on such lively conversations about politics, religion, family, etc. Needless to say, it took me much longer to complete my tedious translation homework, and my pace almost hit a standstill when they started taking hits at Christianity and religion. Some of what they had to say was true, but what kept my attention were their cynical and witty remarks about everything, insulting or not. What can I say, I gravitate towards intelligent people with quick tongues, regardless if I can keep up with them or not. At least they care and know about current events, which is more than I can say for the general young adult population. Perhaps I find them more entertaining than, say, beautiful people who know only how to keep themselves beautiful or (insert your own example). Anyway, when I left, I turned to get a good look at them, and the first word that came to mind: nerdy! But that impression came far too late for any real misdoing.
This reminds me of Benjie's talks at RUF about dating, and one point he keeps on making is for us to date more. This may sound funny coming from a preacher's mouth, but before that exhoratation came an analysis of how selfish and one-sided dating is these days. All we do is use each other, great. Human relationships are at the core of living- nobody wants to die alone. So the point was to date more to get to know the people around you. The real point of bringing this up was not to alienate my readers of the non-faith, but to state that at first glance, I would have probably dismissed those fellows at lunch as not my type of people. "To find out if you love someone, you have to love them first." Is that cheesy? It's so true though.

Sometimes, in lucid moments, I realize how little I know about living well. If I'm honest, I would admit total ignorance all the time. Thank God for His Guidebook! I'm really feeling it right now.

Today in class I learned about capitalism: make money to make more money.
To me, it seems so obvious that people spend too much time doing certain things, like working. I hope I never become a workholic and miss out on life and even the little things we are meant to enjoy.

I don't really know what my life is now in terms of major, career or studying abroad, but it's slowly coming together. And as far as studying abroad goes, I feel like I have beaten the poor dead horse to a pulp in my mind, and I realize that what I want cannot be satisfied in one trip, unless maybe I suddenly come into a large sum of undeserved money. So I think I might just wait it out until I have time to go on such a luxurious trip. There's a better chance that I will be able to in the near future, if I am to be a teacher. Go summer vacation! They took away recess, but that can't take summer away from me.

Ok I really have to go to class, but today after I walked out of the house, I realized I was wearing ALL blue, even my purse, but not including my backpack. How embarrassing.

Pictures speak for me

K, I haven't updated PHOTOGS in a while, and it's not because nothing has happened in the past month, thankfully. So while finishing off the last half of a Green and Black's Maya Gold chocolate bar, I finally did it today. Stuff's bound to happen in between the times you study, right? [Albums 17 - 22] Today I officially babysat for the first time and also changed a diaper for the first time. It was poopy. [22] Also, today was also the first time I got sick of Texas heat and then vowed to live elsewhere after I grew up. All I did was walk my laundry to and fro the coin-op and the clothes off my back were wet like I had been plowing a plot of land. Can't take it no more. In the words of roommate Mary, "I'm tired of sweating!"

ACL wasn't all that neat to me. They say that if you work for something, you will value it more. Well I worked for it: buying the ticket, sweating profusely, wondering whether or not to pass out, sunburned shoulders, dirty lungs filled with dust and smoke, lugging a gallon of water, smashing myself in between hot bodies, waiting.. Roommate KK suffered more than I, as she was not familiar with most of the songs of the bands we decided to see (I think Tortoise's discordant noise finally did it for her. We left then, 15 min before Coldplay came on. Come on, light show.). Perhaps I have outgrown abusing my body in the name of live music, and looking back, I would have enjoyed a nice day hike more. [21]

Have also been Rasterbating a few images, and a poster made of 8 sheets of computer paper of the Sufjan "NY Shitty" photo is currently hanging up in our living room. Now I can put stuff on my walls!

Devendra Banhart makes good music for studying. I like how he sings in Spanish sometimes. You can stream his album here, it's the one I've been listening to (click on Luisterpaal and scroll down). And I mean, is he really living in 2005? Just look at the man.

Help Animals!

Hey, I'm not really known for animal advocacy, but this is just too easy and free to pass up. Click on the button and it will help a shelter feed its starving animals.

Good deed for the day (you can do it every day!)

Now this is my kind of shirt.
Detail:

Illusions of Opportunity

Went recreational biking today, this time East of 35 and then North of where I live. Neat little neighborhoods all around! I am going to start mentoring at an elementary school on East Cesar Chavez and it makes me want to get the know the "Eastside" better; I tended to avoid it for the most part (especially for living) these past two years- directionism? I found the elusive 2nd Quack's Bakery, rode on the dangerously car-ridden Airport Blvd., and cycled around the entire IM fields at least twice looking for my friend's ultimate frisbee game. Then I chomped on some of the awesome cranberry/almond/walnut granola I made last night, and some of Mary's equally excellent vegan chocolate chip cookies, looked up scholarships, volunteered for an hour selling Cielo water bottles for hurricane relief to people going to the game (surprising enough, the "scalpers" donated significantly, probably because they were so hot standing out there in the heat and yelling tickets at cars and passerbys. They were pretty amiable as well.), watched three straight episodes of "Freaks and Geeks." Then the ears drank in some Feist ("Inside and Out"!!), the Lucksmiths, and now the Iron and Wine/ Calexico collaboration album (it's ok). They are coming at the end of October to Austin, perhaps I will go. And I think I want to get the latest Gorillaz album to rock future parties/empty house evenings. (I know, I'm way behind.) It's totally conducive to another set of late night workout roommate dance session videos, costumes and all. So this was my Saturday; fun to do, nothing much to type a story about.

One thing though, my computer keeps freezing like once a day, and I'm not sure what to blame: iTunes 5, Tiger, or updates on Real Player, Adobe Acrobat, and Norton Antivirus. Is it possible to un-update an application? Getting bit all over in this house. The feverish feeling in your affected areas are like no other- you feel like hot poison. At least it makes me remember that I have a body to take care of, I guess.

Shoe alert!
Merrell Ewetopia Cinch
Man, tell me this isn't sweet looking. The main thing preventing me from owning these someday is that the complete inner shoe is lined with fleece. Eech, that sort of thing is only good for sweaty feet.

The shoes in European line all have neat artsy soles as well.


OK, the motivational phrase "you can do anything you set your mind to" is simply not true. That bothers me that it is still being preached, even in '99! ("F&G" episode #6) The poor people who hang everything on it.

I'm pretty bad how I don't question what is being presented to me. I don't think critically or even bother to doubt new information, rather I drink it all in. This was once again reinstated in my class, "Sociocultural Influences on Learning," where I thought the book we had just finished about social class affecting family life and success in varying ways was great; everyone else attacked its weaknesses through very narrowed eyes. Gee. It's probably not a very good skill for a learner to be lacking in. Just don't let me write any books, and I think it'll be OK.

Spoon song of the month, I have to say. "Everything Hits At Once (For Discos)."

Roommate Mary's sister is here this weekend, this evening she started watching "Saved,"and when that finished, she immediately popped in the 3-hour long "Pride & Prejudice." Wow.

Got new shoes, material/sneaker girl that I am. Because the deal was too hard to resist.


The fact that there is only Urban Outfitters to be found nationwide as the decidedly hip/alternative/bohemian/streety/non-Gap-style/whatever chain clothing store kills most of its cred, in my opinion. I guess NY has H&M and whatnot, but isn't the real point of fashion elitism, and elitism to be exclusionary? Not to be a terrible prick, but can the store maintain its appeal even after legions of sorority girls and self-proclaimed high school preppies are replacing large parts of their wardrobes with Urban apparel? I'd like to hear more about it, the trickling down of "higher" fashion to the masses and what it does to the industry. And, another question we all have asked, what humans actually buy and wear the fantastical and non-functional clothes donned by models parading around in high fashion shows?

Time to hit the books once again, later, since this time I didn't really mean to write an entry. My roommate probably thinks I'm crazy that I've been on the computer for so long, and on a Saturday night for crying out loud.


Currently Listening:
Demon Days
Gorillaz
"Feel Good Inc."

Blackberry Pancakes

I've been mulling over the hurricane and its effects over the past few days and all that is too much for my mind to handle. We can bicker and argue about the details, but in reality those displaced people still need lots of aid and help. They're going to be rebuilding their lives from scratch, for crying out loud. My ALD professor last night spend half the class talking about his experiences volunteering 12 hours straight for the past week at the convention center. Near the beginning, when he was talking about the setup, like cots everywhere, shower centers, piles of sorted foods, database entry and "Bourbon Street" (the part of the building where there's always live music playing), I was getting pretty pumped up about getting involved in this process. But then after hearing about all the unecessary top-level bureaucracy, racial tensions, lack of organization, wondering about their future, and simply just thinking about all those people having to start anew a life and the trauma of losing loved ones just like that- I, a selfish being, didn't want to have to deal with all that heaviness. Wtf? I want to just have to focus on finishing today's readings, decide whether or not I'm going to buy deck shoes, plan a dinner with a friend and go bike riding this weekend. But if everyone turned a blind eye, how heartless would that be. I've already donated a bit, but I'm definitely going to continue to keep the whole situation in my thoughts and keep my eyes open for more opportunities to help.

Like this! This is pretty good, ya'll, buy a shirt printed on American Apparel (that means it's good, folks) for $10 and the company will donate $10 to Red Cross. It's like getting a free shirt for donating to a great cause. Check it out. P.S. Sizes run small.

Even though iPod came out with the Nano recently and it really is slick, I don't particularly want one anymore. I actually have been listening to very little music since our house still doesn't have (wireless) internet and I normally play iTunes while dawdling online; and it's been really good. Less distraction. My life doesn't need a soundtrack. I could do without music, really, there's just so much else to focus on, stuff that matters. And what is the worth is knowing a lot about music? It's relatively worthless, compared to other subject matters, unless that's how you connect with others or maybe it's your career. But I think it'd be fun to go to a Mars Volta concert (for its intensity level) and the Iron & Wine/Calexico show in October, for kicks only.

Events: On Monday night, roommate Mary is having a veggie burger cookout in our trashed up backyard, so anyone who reads this is invited. And I'm planning on going on a leisurely Commuting/Grocery stop bike ride Sunday morning with the recreational cycling club, ACA. That should be good. OK, I also hope to learn how to use Photoshop sometime.. sounds hard. And I am looking for a charity bike ride to go on for my KIN class. Seems like you can't do too much long distance/scenic riding without a road bike. :( Happy Friday!

Half The Weekend

.. is almost over. Way to ease us into school with a 3-day, a 4-day and then a 5-day week, UT. I like that. Ooh, I'm tired! Today at 8:45 I went on a exploration bike ride with Rachel Self (my neighbor across the street) and her friend Emily. Being the novices that we are, we rode a bit aimlessly around Hyde Park for a while and then decided to go to Barton Springs. A bit offroad, a bit sidewalk and a lot of street. It was a gorg day outside and many many people were taking advantage of the Hike and Bike trail around Town Lake, which I have yet to explore. I really want to go on the Greenbelt sometime with someone more experienced. (Actually a guy who works at the next mentioned bike shop said he'd be willing to take me around town and get acquainted with all the routes, cause I had expressed a desire to do so. Hm, still trying to figure out if the offer comes with strings attached.. Oh yeah, and I'd like to do some sort of a ride this semester and it will count for credit for a health project in my KIN class.) After asking a runner for directions, riding around Zilker, gazing jealously at the swimmers at Barton, and going to the nearby Bike Shop for a quick adjustment, we started to head back and stopped at the Tea Embassy on Rio Grande on the way back. It's in a cute house with cases of fine tea and really classy rooms suitable for real tea parties. I purchased 2 oz. of Almond Cookie Green Tea and chatted with the lady behind the counter about how to prepare certain types. She probably thought I looked pretty ridic all sweaty with helmet hair and heat radiating from my body talking about tea distinctions. Other places to visit: the really delish snocone place on 51st and Duval, cute little juice bar on Barton Springs Road, and the 100 year old grocery/sandwich shop on Avenue B.

At the house I showered my sticky boddess and then took on the challenge of moving our roommate's heavy-duty foosball table upstairs with Kristi. It was pretty killer, with only two people doing it, and we ended up having to take off all the legs and dragging the top upstairs. We'll see what Mary thinks about that. Last night the girls and I viewed The Big Lebowski, funny stuff. Walter: "Shut the f*ck up, Donny!!" and "I'm calmer than you, I'm calmer than you.."

Come visit my house if you are in the area. It looks great and things are now starting to get fixed, i.e. dishwasher, blinds getting put up, smoke detectors installed. We really thought that they would never put the latter up, until maybe the house burned down or something. Anyway, the lesson is to be assertive towards your landlords because you are paying them lots of cash. Mm, ok nothing else exciting really. I'd better get crankin' on the schoolwork and give my body a rest.

Waiting for Life

Am in Austin! Am sitting in Quack's, enjoying the Internet and getting ready to study a bit, because it is lonely not having people pick up their phones when it's dark and the house is empty. And, for some cruel reason, I do not get cell phone service until nearly 38th street. I live close to 45th. Terrible! So, we painted the rest of the house/ living room yellow yesterday; light yellow, fiery red and teal look great together. Today I went to All Saints Presbyterian Church new location and the drive was absolutely splendid, even though we were never quite sure if we were following the correct directions. I'm talking about view driving up and down the hills of Barton Creek Blvd. off Bee Caves past 360 N. The little things that I love most happen always when I am actually doing something else. Let's explore more of this great city! Other than that, I have been getting to know my roommate, Kristen: she likes hot Cheetos with buttery toast, is reading Naked by David Sedaris (which I can borrow), has the same laptop and headphones as me, and kicked me out of the house this afternoon when she had a male guest. Boy that was awkward. I hope we'll get along swell the rest of the semester. Ah, sorry for the boring post, my brain must be in a studying mode.

Is this the end of fencing as I know it?
Does this sound ok? I guess it's too late to edit now.
Gosh, I never know how to respond assertively to other people pulling me in different directions. I have yet to learn assertiveness.

Letter to my fencing coach:
Hi Paul,

I have been thinking about the club for a good bit this summer (while fencing at Grapevine Fencing Club/ LaTouche/ Gold Blade Fencing Center like you asked me to) and I don't want to be on the national team starting this year, or even do much competing. Let me explain. Fencing is just a hobby for me and winning a nice by product. Even though I love improving and beating up on my opponents, I am not particularly interested in investing all the time and energy it takes to become a good fencer, like all the extra practices, tournaments and workouts. The price is too high and would be paid for at the expense of higher priorities; ultimately, I fence for fun. I'm also flattered that your expectations of me are quite high, but this resulting pressure is also uncomfortable, especially when I don't demand the same performance from myself. I am starting my teaching certification sequence next semester and I plan to focus on preparing for that right now, along with getting more involved in my campus ministry. I hope you understand and accept this decision, because the UT competitive team deserves to have on it the most dedicated and focused fencers. It is not fair for neither you or me if someone in my position is to represent the very best of our fencing team. I talked to James about it and he agrees with my sentiments. Thanks for your time, Paul.

Frances

Exercises in Design

I meant for this week to be uneventful and restful in preparation for the new school year. That didn't happen. In fact, I haven't thought about the future so much, discovered characteristics about myself or examined the multiple directions into which I am being pulled all in this kind of detail before. I just want a life of simplicity!

Do you realize what a great book title "The Valley of Vision" is? *Shakes head* I just did.

In the meantime, am researching a possible career in design. Here are a few links of interest:

Want to know how common a certain word is in the English language? Repulsive is #25454, wedged in between counterclaim and folio. Hm. On the other hand, I typed in "supercilious" and my browser crashed. Gotta watch out for those sneaky SAT words.
Word Count

Har har har! I got myself on a cool design blog, on the basis of someone else's excellent work. I made the recommendation. It's for these totally awesome silkscreened tour posters. And yes, Sufjan was one of his clients. Check it out if you like: The Small Stakes.

For only $12, build you own clock.. out of anything! You must be able to drill a hole in it though. Available at the Ready Made magazine store. I thought about using my vintage wooden tennis racket, but that's kind of heavy. I'll keep thinking. (Um, I didn't include a link to a photo, because the plastic parts by themselves look unimpressive. It's the idea that counts!)

Hm, that's good for now.

I've been reading C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves since yesterday. The man speaks such truths with such reason! He never ceases to blow me away with his ideas. And to think that I got it new for only a couple dollars. Of course, it always sounds shabbier when I paraphrase, but some of his points I took to heart were that natural human loves become demons when we allow them to become gods, Gift-love (vs. Need-love, like a child towards its mother) can be perverted by selfishness and thus becomes harmful ("the proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift"; but the perversion occurs when the giver cannot bear to be not needed anymore and keeps on "loving"..mothers are particularly prone to this, I think), and that affection is the humblest of all loves because through familiarity and time, it connects you with the odd and different sorts of people you meet on a day to day basis, most of whom you would not otherwise seek out as friends. Erin used to say that she would not have picked some of her family members as friends, but over the years, of course she has learned to love them, hard as it was at times. "By having a great many friends I do not prove that I have a wide appreciation of human excellence.. The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day."

A few pages in the first chapter were devoted to nature, which I thought interesting. This quote jumped out at me and forced me to reconsider some of my personal enrichment goals.
"Nature 'dies' on those who try to live for a love of nature."
He also expounded on the matter by saying that nature doesn't teach you anything, it only helps you understand. For example, "A true philosophy may sometimes validate an experience of nature; an experience of nature cannot validate a philosophy." I suppose if a nature enthusiast is told this early on, it would save him a lot of time. What do you think? What have been your experiences of nature and the like, you who possess "dark gods in your blood"?

OH Lance - too good to be true?

Once again, ultimate winner Lance Armstrong is facing charges of steroid abuse, this time against claims made by the Tour de France chief. The drug in question? EPO: "For years, it had been impossible to detect the drug, which builds endurance by boosting the production of oxygen-rich red blood cells." Wouldn't it be such a shattering of American ideals and pride if this is really true? I mean, he tested positive for the drug in '99 but denies it, saying he has "never taken performance-enhancing drugs." Well, let the tests speak for themselves and we'll see how it turns out. Ah, I never really liked the guy anyway and never thought once about donning a Livestrong bracelet in its heyday. (OK, well maybe once.) The reason is single and compelling to me; I can't have much respect for a man who left his wife and kids to go frolic with a rockstar. Great role model, man. Oops, hope that doesn't make me a terrorist. Correction: OK, it was a mutual separation/divorce agreement and he met Sheryl Crow a month afterwards. Divorce sucks!!

And I don't know if this is even all that interesting, but it tickled my fancy. (My fancy likes to be tickled, you know.) There's a discussion going on at a Sufjan forum about popular CCM artist David Crowder covering one of Sufjan's songs on his latest release. As was expected there was much dissing of CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) and even some of David. But the man himself posted a long and sincere reply to all that jazz this morning.. I know because it happened while I was composing a reply of my own. Link This might be thought-provoking to read for fans of either band.

Common Creativity

So I made four shirts today. And that's about all I can take for a while. Since I seem to have exceeded my quota on Webspace, the goods have been uploaded to PHOTOGS. Yeesh, watch out for letters. None of them are for me, perhaps you can guess their future owners if I give you that Wilco is for my cousin Jonathan and Tilly and the Wall is for a certain somebody in Spain. What's up with the weak flash, my camera?

Hey interesting, Kanye West meets the Beach Boys. All tracks are free.

Bird in Cage

I really, really want to backpack across Europe or undertake a huge exploration like that in the near future. My roommate Erin is living the dream right now, and after being so happy for her, I'm nearly crying everyday out of my green eyes. There's just so much to be discovered and experienced in the hazy "out there"! But, truly, how can I make it happen? No companion(s), no money, much summer school in view, and only one free summer left. I don't know why it's so pressing, but I will start feeling half-alive I don't start going places. SIGH. This bird is banging its head on the bars.

On the tv

I am an alien to the realm of hip-hop, but it really tickles my fancy that Kanye West's new album was produced by Jon Brion.

My first DIY shirt. Yay.

Killer alternate album cover!